A Healthy Relationship is easy if you are willing to:
invest effort (love is an action verb)
honor your personality and strength/weaknesses differences and see them as ways to balance each other
accept and not judge each others flaws
support each other’s need for independence and freedom as well as togetherness
forgive each other or offer grace rather than judgement if one of you is off, in a mood, or stuck in an old wound
drop your own version of expectations and create an agreed upon version of relationship expectations
Even if you have a lot in common, 2 individuals will have nuances within those commonalities that make you different.
2 People with:
-different personalities
-different wounds
-different coping skills
-different communication skills
-different ideologies
2 People who are attempting to cohabitate,
Agree
Flow
Harmonize
WOW! Relationship is asking A LOT of us! Hard stuff too!
To make relationship work and be fulfilling really does require 2 people who are WILLING. And that willingness may vary. Sometimes we are stubborn and not willing, so the other person will have to carry the weight when the other is resistant, and vice versa.
WOW again!
When I really realized what relationship required, it scared me. Could I do it? I thought of myself as a giving person, but I knew relationship would positively push me in all the residual areas, both consciously and unconsciously, that I was hesitating to grow.
Thankfully, I have partnered with a WILLING person. Both of us have faltered and risen. One has picked the other up, when the other couldn't muster the courage. One has been more civil, when the other momentarily lost their cool. The journey of relationship experiences these motions and each time we overcome through kindness and respect toward one another, we are better as individuals and together.
Relationship is my greatest teacher.
Relationship brings challenge indeed, but it also brings so much more. Here are just a few benefits of relationship with my mate that I treasure and am so grateful for:
companionship in daily life and for new adventures
embracing the art of giving and receiving
his listening ear as I recount my recent epiphanies and daily ups and downs
closeness and intimacy that refreshes my soul and keeps a spark of passion lit up inside
support and encouragement when I struggle to have enough for myself, and extending grace when I see he needs it rather than my critical eye
growth in areas I had no idea that needed expansion
If you are wondering whether your current relationship is worth the effort, consider your willingness and consider the massive pay-off your efforts create.
Whether you are Single and want to learn HOW to unleash the willing side to you or you would like to be more equipped in self and other love, check out my favorite foundational course: How to Value Yourself and Others. Willingness is even harder when we don't quite know HOW to love, communicate, and compromise in healthy ways.
With Accountability, love, and some fun,
Kim O
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